I hate to see you go, cold and snow, but we springin' forward!!!!

It's the weekend, the sun is shining, but it's still slightly chilly, Big 12 tournament, gotta show love to my Jayhawks!  Perfect spring day for patio's, day-drinking, and of course, the yearly Pre-St. Patty's day festivities.  I have always been a "seasonal" person.  I love living in Kansas because I love that we get all four seasons, not always in the right order, but we get them; there is also a lot of beauty, calmness and kindness about Kansas, in my opinion.  I think sometimes we get a bad wrap but let's be honest, the people here are kind and helpful (most of the time), cost of living is a nice perk, we literally invented basketball, the best Ribs, IN THE WORLD, come newspaper-wrapped from Guy and Mae's in Williamsburg; the Flint Hills are incredibly amazing in their simplistic and natural beauty, especially when the sun rises or sets.  I love driving through that part of Kansas, oh, and let's not forget about Dorothy, and my favorite.....sunflowers!  Yeah, Kansas be groovin' like "carry on my wayward son", that one goes out to Jim Brawley!  But, back to my original point, seasons. :) 

Pre-Smashley, Smashley was one of my many nicknames, of course, attributing to my love for being "smashed" on the regular, I would have had this day planned out since January 1.  This year is obviously different, I haven't drank, at all, this year, 2022, that's the first time I have ever been able to say that, and I am proud of it.  My mind also, always has and will continue to relate seasons with memories, and yearly outings that I would normally be recreating, and most definitely, enjoying!  The sudden realization that my memories would now, always be remembered and never recreated, was the first thing that popped in my mind after being told I had not 1, but stage 4 cirrhosis.  I didn't think, holy shit, I could die, or I need a liver transplant, or I could develop liver cancer.  I thought, how the HELL am I going to celebrate seasons, different events, different outings, without alcohol?  The "Soup Nazi" was about to forever be in my life shouting, No soup but NO ALCOHOL for you!  Props to Jerry Seinfeld for that one. 

Yesterday was a wildly different day, and I wasn't sure how I would feel about it or what emotions might come up.  My plan was to go out and Uber drive, for once, instead of Uber ride, to all my favorite, local, St. Patty's day spots.  For those of you that don't know, I started Uber driving as a side hustle about 6 months ago.  It has proven to be most interesting, to say the least.  Here is all I knew about Uber, I used to take it, a lot, first and foremost, for drunken outings, second, always for out of town drunken outings and lastly, morning liquor store/gas station beer runs.  If I could go back and watch all of my Uber ride clips, I would probably have a very entertaining YouTube channel.  But right now, it's all about those riders, and lately, I have been getting back some of that "white girl wasted" karma... fo sho!  

Friday night I pick up 4 people, they were having a great time, well, until we got around the corner from their destination, when one of the girls started giving some serious puke vibes; her friends said, swallow it, keep it down, lol, we're right around the corner from the house, can you hold it back?  I look back, she can't, I whip around the corner, sudden stop, her boyfriend jumps out, she B.A.R.E.L.Y makes it out the side. Thank you Uber rider, no car clean up....win!  Fast forward to yesterday morning, my cousin and boyfriend, who live next door to me, text and say, "dude, some girl is banging on your front door looking for something".  Zobi and I must have had the TV up too loud because we heard nothing, I go downstairs and open the front door, oh hey girl, it's the Uber rider aka- sis pukes a lot, from Friday night.  All jokes aside she was adorable and very nice, you can tell she is very embarrassed and continues to apologize, but, I being an ex lover of drunken Uber rides myself, tell her not to worry about it, we have all been there girl, you are fine.  But wait, how do you know where I live!?  She says, find my iPhone...duh!  Her phone and earrings, score, are safe and sound on my back floor board.  Now I am up, I get ready and go Uber drive for a bit, I wasn't planning on long because I had plans to go see the new Batman and grab some dinner.  Out of the minimal trips I completed yesterday half were going home or to work, sober, and half were sober and going out to party for St. Patty's Day at the one and only The Shamie, quick side note, The Shamrock is the oldest bar in Wichita, used to be a pharmacy/counter top type of place, 99% sure, and if you've never been, the Saturday before St. Patty's Day is ALWAYS a blast.  One girl and I had so many laughs on the way there, she said, you should just come in with me and party!  A girl actually told me that on Friday as well.  And both times, without hesitation, I said, I would love to but I'm still driving and more often now I also say, I actually quit drinking almost a year ago. 

They ALWAYS say good for you, I never feel judged or lame, which was a big fear of mine.  Like who wants to hang out with a sober person, I would be forgotten! What I realized the other day and this weekend was that if you don't make it weird, other people won't either, and another thing, just do you, if you don't want to partake in something, don't, if anyone has an issue with your decision, they might not have your best interests at heart, and that's a them thing, not a you thing.  Example, post-Smashley, I started out always drinking a soda water with a lime or lemon because people couldn't tell if it was virgin or alcoholic.  But as time went on and I became less and less worried about what people thought, I mean, I damn sure wasn't worried about what people thought when I was going to the liquor store in my pajamas and flip flops, why should I care what people thought about my beverage choice!?  

So a couple weeks ago, I am driving to Harry's, and I am thirsty, like, I could down an ice cold lemonade right now kind of thirsty, or wait.....a foxin' Shirley Temple with a lime right now!  Bring on baseball, patios, and spring-time weather.  My clouded memories will always be in my head, and they will continue to live there, they're apart of me and I wouldn't trade them, good and bad, because that's what makes you, your experiences; that one night that was just fantastic, the time you first saw the ocean, the first time you tried something or met someone you absolutely fell in love with, everything comes from a first.  This is my first season change of my first year of being alcohol free, and it's going to, hopefully, add a lot more sunny and most importantly clear memories my way.  Let's roll, grab them shades!